Is the Tour De France a Tour De Farce? - Conceptually, the great bicycle race symbolises a sort of sped-up re-enactment of the history of France. At the back of the race are the peasants riding on rusted hulks of metal and dirt, ill from drink. The aristocrats are next, wearing large powdered wigs that wobble and breathe as they ride through the Yorkshire dales, speeding past advertisements for sports drinks and signs made by school children. A helicopter flies above the high speed congestion, beaming video images down to the crowd of the crowd watching itself. There is a special bike for the Napoleon impersonator, it is especially motorised and has fat tyres and smells like bowling balls. The impersonator rides, shouting obscene things at the crowd in 18th century French as a man riding a guillotine continually circles him. There is a special ramp on the course that the Napoleon impersonator will ride off and into an Oxbow lake. Shortly after that the road is covered in burritos that offer a fun little hazard until they continue riding around Yorkshire.
It could be that things aren't so literal, but allow me to say without a shadow of a doubt, this is one of the best bike races ever.
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Is there anything more lazier than watching sport? Hebden Bridge was a chaos of plastic, burning giant bongs packed with salvia and staggering into riders pushing themselves up tarmac, the slices where the glaciers had been robbed them of cartilage. They follow the same roads that Peter Sutcliffe had learned to drive. Yet Yorkshire has changed since those days, why not check out the website and discover a new world, your world, your yorkshire. Have a brilliant Yorkshire. Sometimes called 'The Jewel Of Yorkshire', Halifax is considered one of the most romantic areas in the North of England. Explore your shire. Situated between the sea and Lancashire, have a nice Yorkshire.
Bicycle race.
