In Touch With Nature

Jennifer Fairholme recently tried to get back in touch with nature by trying to survive without technology. Naked and mute she stumbled through the forest, cutting her feet on broken branches as she searched for food. At night she lay curled up by a tree, hoping that no animal would attack her. This lasted for a few days until she started to raid the bins in the suburbs where she used to live, occasionally scared away by a security light. People still see her from time to time, rushing away from car headlights and the local rambling club. She's doing a lot better now.

Visualize

Now we can see ultraviolet.

Dripping Exhausts

America has had quite an interesting reaction to the motorcar, it is deeply ingrained into their culture due to the popularity of this technology. Just as we anthropomorphise animals, people also do this to cars (such as the Pixar film; Cars). Cars themselves are interesting objects often designed to be aerodynamic, which share the forms of birds or predator mammals. As technology gets more organic it will take less effort for the sexualization of these metal bodies to be undertaken. It is hard to imagine a future in which people ride around in pulsing steel vulvas although I would hazard a guess and say we're not far off.

The Major Groove

Nootropics are the new drug craze to hit the mean streets. The pharmaceuticals bend the brain towards intelligence in the form of cutting off the blood supply to certain areas of the cortex or boosting nerve reaction for example. These nootropic drugs enhance the mental function of the user, allowing the average person to have superior brain powers. Teenagers are catching onto this strange notion by spending millions a year in nootropics such as Dimethylstramonium, Rubidium Divinorum and Soma. Genius criminals stalk the streets carrying out crimes reminiscent of Moriaty. Instead of the regular muggings and burglarizing that take place in society people are now becoming victims of bizarre complexity. The government has declared nootropics illegal, causing the police to find other means in which to fight the intellectually superior criminal.

"You can't start a fire without a spark." - James Watson, 1974

Appreciation

They reclined into soft futons covered in a rich velvet. Over their bodies drifted the blue-grey smoke from the incense. Nag Champa. Everybody looked down, towards the centre of the room. Breathing so shallow you were unsure if these people were alive or not. Together they enjoyed the centre piece, a ten foot high lava lamp with surface mics fixed around it's glass body. They transmitted the sounds of the inner globuloids.

It Took The Night To Believe

Necromagnetism was first theorized in the mid-19th century as the possible cause of frogs raining. The hypothesis was that certain kinds of storms caused the electronic elements in flesh (such as the iron in blood, the neurons in the brain) to react with the surrounding water leading to extreme magnetism when the cells were inactive. Essentially that dead fish and frogs became extremely magnetic when certain kinds of storms were overhead causing them to fly through the air for several miles until they became degaussed.

Recent experiments have used this theory to create artificial necromagnets in order to find bodies at sea. This has lead to many levitations of dead things, perhaps the most recent was an experiment involving starlings that had been executed then levitated several miles into Somerset. Necromagnetism is still in it's early stages, although scientists hope to harness this energy in order to explore life after death.

A Personal Appeal From Jimmy Wales Founder Jimmy Wales

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

Harlequin

Life Twist

When he slept he dreamt of living a life as a professor of biomechanical engineering at Boston University. When he woke he was a component in the ISS, his three inch metal body significant in holding the hull together. He would often forget his dreams quickly after waking but he sometimes wondered if his dreams were real somehow. Either he was observing the life of JJ Collins or he was in fact JJ Collins who dreamt of being a bolt integral to keeping the International Space Station together that was unable to tell reality from dreams. A bit like The Matrix but not as action packed.

Ghost Diagrams From 1985

Three Skinner Box

The rat presses the button, the scientist is conditioned to give him food.

Glittering Sapien, Glowing Erectus

Tribes of Neanderthals were found inside an inactive volcano. When rescued, these primitive men struggled to cope in modern society and took to living in the countryside, eating fruits of the forest and killing hikers. Many of them ride bulls from village to village to steal women in order to propagate their race. Watch out!

Geodesic

Psilocybin Zombies

I recently discovered a new species of psychedelic mushroom. The spores are released into the human body after ingestion, remaining in the circulatory system until death. The spores then settle and grow along the veins and arteries, eventually sprouting amongst the skin. The fungus then drags the body upwards out of the ground in order to feed off sunlight and other nutrients. A side effect that these mushrooms have is that it keeps the body well preserved, although it is unsure exactly why this happens.

Exquisite Corpse Autopsy

"Her eyes glazed over when I began painting them." - Hugh Humph, set decorator for the film 'Goldfinger' [1964]

"It took so long to become aroused it felt like we had been married for ten years rather than on our second date." - Penelope Buttons

R'n'R

Due to the 2004 film 'Crash' sharing the same name as the 1996 film 'Crash', many couples expecting 2 hours of social commentary were instead treated to a 90 minute exploration of erotica and automobiles. Many couples would then incorporate sexual acts inside the car, often when looking for a first house or waiting in line at a drive-thru. It is unknown how many of these couples then went further to simulate crashes to coincide with orgasm although recent trend of dogging and the advent of streaming pornography sites hasn't hindered this fetish. Those couples who wanted to watch the 96 Crash and mistakenly got the 04 version realized racism was wrong.

Please touch the screen where you feel most comfortable, the left most quads reflecting a 'left handed brain' whilst the right quads obviously represent fucking. Move your finger across the monitor to try and see how the different areas make you feel, preferably speaking out loud as you do so.

Precognitions

"Boy is my faeces red." - Me, 2012

- The internet will require a license, similar to having a bonfire or owning a dog.
- The first suicide by electric car in the garage.
- An orangutang will give birth to replacement organs for a human.
- Glasses that are cameras that also project electronic data into your eyes. These will mostly be used for Milkdrop.
- A government database will be hacked so that all resevoirs are emptied in order to hold a skating competition in the sewers of major cities.
- Being naked will become fashionable.
- A 3D movie will be released with only the third dimension is visible without the other two.
- The first animal to human hair transplant will take place.
- A black metal gig will take place on a barge sailing through antartica.
- Humanity will at last communicate with objects.
- Upon America leaving Iraq they will bomb it with nuclear weapons.
- London will be flooded in seven feet of water caused by a gaffe from Boris Johnson.
- 3D paintings will be used for decoration in homes.
- Wicker chairs become popular in car interiors.
- Smoking is made illegal to be seen or talked about. It is replaced with drinking.
- A volcano will erupt causing ash storms worldwide for about five minutes.
- A man is victim to a government conspiracy and succeeds in going public. Nobody cares.
- Budget airlines begin to use defunct military helicopters.
- People will pay for things by using pictures of money on mobile phones in order to try and be more environmentally friendly.
- A drug will come out that turns your hair a green colour leading to a generation of teenagers who need to dye their hair forever.
- North Korea will land on the moon, beginning a space cold war that will last four years.
- Slides will be installed in buildings to provide funportation.
- Animals will be trained to assassinate people by operating specifically made weapons.

Cannibal Planet

There is a planet spinning out in space where all the resources have been used. No metal, wood, water. No animals or plants. The only resource is the human being. Vast fields of pregnant women lie waiting to give birth to babies, a majority of which will be eaten. Some will be used as fuel for the few fires the cannibals use as warmth for those who haven't built houses made from clumps of hair and faeces. Oceans of bodily fluids span the globe, scab waves washing up on marrow shores. Everybody on the planet will die as the atmosphere slowly changes to carbon dioxide and all that will be left will be miles upon miles of deserts made from the chewed up bones of long dead space cannibals.