La Li Lu Le Lo

Display

Pioneer Ten bumped against the edge of the curtain and was gently pushed back. "That was close." whispered the stage-hand.

Emotion Shapes

The recent show PRIFKIN curated by Jacob Donaldson had it's opening night last Wednesday and was graced by many of the upper echelons of the creative community. Whilst walked around the conceptual abstractions by Donaldson, one couldn't help but bump into famous faces such as Mirrielle Mellin or David Phyall. Gary Harper commented that the show was “One of the most artistic things he has ever seen.” He then pointed to a overexposed polaroid of Donaldson slaughtering an ape with a handsaw and began to clap. Jacob Donaldson wasn't in attendance that night due to other obligations although he had hired an impersonator of himself to walk around for a few minutes.

Short Arse

Paul Abraham Hewson was the lead singer for a band used as a cultural weapon through subliminal acoustic messages. His 'attack rock' planted common sounds found during public life (such as the low frequency noise that traffic lights play or the notes from telephone ringtones) and wove them into thought strings which culminated in a devastating apathy. Their Greatest Hits album was the cultural equivalent to a large scale toxic weapon attack.

The scales of autism and schizophrenia were equally balanced.

Meat Raffle

Configuration

A man in six parts on a cube.

The Accelerating Man

“There are as many atoms in a person as there would take people to fill a star. I therefore suggest that stars are also people, what we see is merely a metaphor. This also explains the stars sometimes conducting particle acceleration experiments with people instead of protons.” - Richard Dawkins

School of Thought

In ten years all of the information will be at the fingertips of everybody with the latest high technological gizmo like an extra tooth that scans the objects around you or a glow in the dark wig that allows you to talk to your friends. Due to this schools will stop teaching knowledge and switch to teaching learning through a variety of fictional lessons. These will take place in huge magnetic rooms where students will be straddled with heavy goggles that give them tunnel vision as they trudge across the concrete floor, trying to pick out relevant clues to possible histories or attempting basic arithmetic by combining awkwardly shaped weights into standard geometric shapes.

January 16th 2013

face blast

Ultimate Fixation

He looked down the edge of the building and spat, it tumbled from his mouth an onto the glass outer shell of the skyscraper. He bellowed, drunkenly that the world was going to end before taking out a silver parcelet. He had seen the Earth in a far enough galaxy for it to be visible and has studied a magnificent plaque where Europe and Asia should have been. It gave the codes to futuristic ideals to anybody looking, a marble in space. After casting down the small parcel he leapt off the building, bouncing and rolling. The bones in his chest and head looked like a bag of jiggling kidney beans. The parcel contained a single drawing by the suicidal maniac, it was of a twirling arrow entering a series of triangles above a series of numbers. What was on the paper didn't actually matter as the man had pre-treated the paper so that if it was ever shouted at loud enough that the ink would re-arrange into the clue to the secret of interdimensional metawarp bullshit.

Post-Structuralistic Blood Rituals

Exterior

He tried to measure the lengths of the building just by using his own body. The arms were used to measure furniture while the ceiling was calculated by human height.

Modern Warfare Explained

Gary Harper has recently completed an exhibition at the Bowline National Park based around his experiences as a jet fighter pilot. Whilst walking through the fields of the park you notice scale models of battlefields on the ground, miniaturized disaster areas. At each edge of the gallery designated area were large aircraft engines that idle slowly, the mechanical wind slightly waving the grasses or brushing peoples hair over there faces. On the last night of the exhibition Gary Harper himself made an appearance, turning on the huge engines to full power so that they tore themselves free from their metal plinths and flew off into the surrounding forests and fields. His replicas were severely damaged in both the blast of the engines and ensuing panic that followed. That's when the strobe lights were turned on.

The Man who wanted to turn into A Car

It happened!

The Truth

The booster rocket divorced itself from the shuttle, flying backwards into space. It is briefly caught in the path of debris that the other booster gives off before spinning down to Earth. The camera lens in it's eye looks up at the sun and down at the ocean, again and again. Sometimes it caught a glimpse of the other rocket as it left a yellow trail whilst re-entering the atmosphere but otherwise it was the simple white and blacks of space and the occasional flick of the sea below. Down it went, faster and faster until it entered enough air to begin making sounds again. A series of planes below it pointed huge magnets upwards, catching the metal framework and guiding it towards land. The silver planes eventually side winded away to leave the huge rocket engine hurtling into the twin towers, destroying them both in an cataclysm of interstellar velocity. “The mission was a success.” said the president of the united states, drinking a glass of bourbon whilst watching New York be engulfed in a toxic smog.

Regeneration

The history of sport is based primarily around the events of the 1968 olympics taking place in Atlanta, Florida. One of the most amazing events was the appearance of Sun Ra performing an open-air concert amidst the hop skip and a jump challenge segment. It was also recorded as being voted one of the most cool olympic games in the 20th century, the runner up was the 1908 summer slam event taking place in Austria, Germany.

Javelins spear through the air like wet butterflies, pointy sticks earning medal made of gold. This is the introductory line of the 2012 national olympic booklet, a description of a magnificent sporting achievement for a country with an athlete good enough to be an olympian. Miss Spukarcala watched through chrome binoculars at a five thousand metre sprint between the nations, the beating of the feet in perfect synchronization, millipede of men followed the orbit of the track. A 13th and a 20th place, each athlete choosing a tarot card before they begin the event. The big finish of a winner, bunched up and depressed. All they needed was the warmth of the olympic village. Wild parties happened at these olympic villages, orgies of electrolytes. Old physical education memories hum in the funk, dehydration became one of the worst injuries off the field. The great british public can only wonder what kind of amazing lifestyles the olympians have!

Engorged with Blood

The contours of her thighs, the cracking of her pelvis as she moves into the position deemed comfortable for viewing three dimensional news reports. Cameras capture natural disasters and war atrocities in stunning colour, they become as abstract and ridiculous as anything else.

Aesthetics of Anaesthetics

Bright star super secrets. Here is the pathology of light, temporally loud. Exchanges on the spectrum (1) are identified as cretins of science. The ruling species of thought. Omniglobular beacons echo throughout, thoughtout. Grand designs of bizarre gods which defy the ultimate rules. Armitage Shanks looks beyond, outside networks of neurons, up quarks, down quarks, Higgs bosoms and a ****. Invisible ghosts which make up the metadata of consistence. Standard models waltz overhead, twirling like dancers. A cold peak develops, raging hard and quivering in the blizzard of particles like the grudge weapons from world war 2. Armistice Shankhs swept at these as if they were invisible demons, bellowing out between bleeding gums damaged by years of processed sugar use. “Knowledge means fuck all when you've only got a couple of lousy bucks in your dungaree pocket.” He was picked up by silver limousines, driving into the night like mechanical phantoms. A footnote in future text books about the perverse psychosexual nature of government conspiracies.