Shall Turn To Blood

Noise Festival Presents

A Shakespeare & Longfellow Production

ALL THE WATERS OF EARTH SHALL TURN TO BLOOD

at Antwerp Mansion, Manchester. 1900.17.3.14-18.3.14


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Nestled in a dark cranny at the edge of Curry Mile, Antwerp Mansion is an open hive of artistry. The Victorian-era building is home to photo shoots, raves, team building weekends and art exhibitions, a cultural gem of the city that is equally important to similar locations such as Islington Mill or The Whitworth Art Gallery. Artisans from across Europe carefully restore the original covings around the building, using only the best quality jute sacking, gypsum plasters and associated ancillaries in the return of the buildings grace. Indeed, its virtues lie in not just the walls but in the people, for Antwerp Mansion is the preliminary expedition for the slow gentrification of curry mile itself.

On the 17th of March at exactly seven o'clock the doors of the mansion will be flung open. Doves will emerge from the dusty corridors, spraying glitter from their wings as they soar across Manchester. All the waters of Earth shall turn to blood. The equivalence of royalty in the contemporary Manchester art scene will visit, wearing the finest frocks and gowns, to view a series of paintings and sculptures that would make Mozart himself jealous. The exhibition appears to be about a meat planet, but over the course of the evening observers can't help but notice that the air around them is sticky with a certain substance. And upon further pondering people will realise that there is a little bit of magic in the air. Things seem to float. Colours change. Instead of talking they were now listening, to the cosmic bell that is chiming around them.

BONG!

BONG!

BONG!

and they will know that everything was true.

Atlas Sands

I walk. I walk and I walk and I walk. From the airport runways to the heart of the city centre, Manchester is one of the best places for any keen hiker to explore on foot. There are mile after mile of roads in Manchester, I estimate there is enough tarmac for a single road to run along the entire coast of England. And on the side of these roads, more often than not, is the pavement. For where would we be without pavements? Perhaps the unsung hero of Manchester, its pavements are walked on daily by its entire population and on which lost items can be found, promises can be made and even a few secrets kept. Anything can happen on these mysterious walkways, five and a half feet wide and infinite in length. In Los Angeles there is a pavement with the hands of famous celebrities embedded into it. In Manchester the pavement is covered in the bloody handprints of gunshot victims. I went to see what kind of pavements I could encounter on a standard day of exploration.

Before long I found myself stranded on the embankment of the M62, the traffic rushing past me on both sides. The air around me moved quickly, filled with the smell of diesel and rain water. I shut my eyes and found myself in a

death dream

falling forward, clutching at my left eye. It had gone cold. Stumbling blindly I reach a concrete bridge and begin to scale it with my fingertips.
"Gone gone samba, rolled rick potassiums and inobstruble magnificents." I mumble to myself. A sacred mantra I had picked up from the last necromancer in Berlin. Eventually I managed to pull myself upward to near safety and began the long walk home, pulling fragments of teeth from out of my tongue, musing, simply musing on the bare bone facts of life. What if instead of people we were pavements? I know, I know, it sounds crazy, I know. Okay? But just hear me out here~

~ quantum physics ~

~ I hope that adequately stated my point, but though even irregarding the fact that the pavements were a source of trouble in our lives, it is possible to empathise with architecture at at least an atomic level.

Gym Membership

In the nineties it was rare to see a jogger. Nowadays exactly half of the people you see on the street is running around dressed in the finest cotton wanking outfits, ipad strapped to the chest, nose full of nitrous oxide. It is more common to see a beefcake whilst out on the lurch than ever before. People love exercising. But in the future knee problems will wash over the populace, so no problem! Titanium joints delivering a heavy metal buzz stone. I switched from smoking tobacco to weed, now I'm a genius. Personally I do 30 rep HIIT exercises running from the 5-0 24-7/C://jttps:www.sandras.com

Weights that contain energy. Bikes that contain energy. Yoga balls that contain energy. If everything is made out of energy and the laws of thermodynamics state the eventual destiny for everything is heat death does that mean the soul lives on? To what end, running an electroencephalogram on the intestines in order to read the waves from neural activity in the gut and comparing them to the waves in the brain. Synchronicity. Otherness affected by diet. Increase in supposed paranoia via feelings of depersonalisation caused by foods with fake sugar in them.

I have deeply studied the rigmarole of gym exercise and have concluded it is an extremely highly fetishized masturbatory zone in which one can view an array of human material whilst exercising ones body to the point of pain. The muscle men of today will be the toothless geezers tomorrow, clutching at your ankle and laughing from the drain. Children on steroids ripping off the heads of flowers. 'Power' bicycles weighing ninety kilos speed through imaginary bike lanes, slicing in half electric cars and vaporizing mutants like tron in the dark.

We are living in a gym future. Why isn't the Milky Way an enormous protein shake spilling pearls over the cosmos? The Red Bull breakfast sponsored by Bruce Willis. A ninety degree angle in the form of a piece of metal that is thrust and grunted upon as the projection of sublimation via chemicals in the water supply. Super soldier serum basically.

Money Review: The Five Pound Note

B2B is dead, P2P is the future (people 2 people), it's easy nowadays to run a sql server at home with three dimensional data storage, in both cloud and metacloud. Beyond the stratosphere is Moon 2.0, designs for newspapers on other planets, the working class in spaaaace.

Here are 5 tips to make your business healthy;

1. Optimize search engine results, especially paying attention to the russian and even chinese internet.
2. Content is king, but who is God? George Washington's face on a hundred dollar bill y'all.
3. By upgrading your internet connection to the new 'broadband', you can upload at a basic 526kb/s.
4. Remember to print out business cards at home and hand them out at corporate events. Save money by being sponsored by a paper manufacturer.
5. The fifth tip is just have fun.

Do you want to make money by working from home? Simply click on advertisements on the internet. You're making someone money but that person isn't you, so think outside the box. Start making up your own advertisements and post them to your friends, earn £1 with every 1000 clicks. That means after roughly 10,000 clicks you'll be earning £10,000.

The thing I love about the Apple Macs is the designing. It's cool, it's hip. Young people love it, good brand recognition. The PC on the other hand has the image of being something found in the homes of sex criminals. Here's a tip for Bill Gates; make computers out of gold. That way they will be very expensive. It's important nowadays to get tattoos. Tattoos are a way of archiving the viral. Charlie bit my finger. Fastforward twenty years, Charlie killed someone. Why? He had been programmed to do at an early age by cannibalistic projection.

You ever lie in bed and wonder what you did that got you where you are today? You might think back to some key moment then remember something before that happened that set the event in motion. In fact you could go back through your entire life, then your parents, and your ancestors but guess what? They have nothing to do with you lying in bed. Reaching financial independence isn't a luxury, it's a fashion statement.

Maybe you should re-mortgage your house so you can get hair or breast implants? A little money saving tip that does me good, for every £1 I spend I put £2 into a savings account. That way I barely have any money and sell Christmas presents in order to fuel my drug habit. But what about the recession? Turns out it never happened. Just a bunch of jerks started talking about politics because talking about something important made them feel important. Why not empathise with your bank? I encourage readers to sneak up to it in the middle of the night and start smearing themselves against the windows.

Notice the women in the centre of the five pound note. They are crying because the babies are being drowned. The aristocrats on the left are overlooking the scheme. A woman watches a child and a dwarf wrestle. The shapes on the inner wheel arch are reminiscent of the sayagata pattern, interlocking swastikas. Elizabeth Fry has hair like Marge Simpson. Overall a fascinating design, perhaps some of the best money around. 5/5 stars.

Dog Looking At Jupiter

It has a penchant for astronomy.

Principles Of Mask Culture

The Venetian mask is synonymous with Venice. Known as being an important part of the autumnal festival, tourists flock from around the world to see the face plates decorated to a high standard. Historically the Venetian nobility would wear these masks for a good majority of the year when out in public, allowing them to commit a variety of lewd and anonymous acts. Some men would wear ones like the cranium of a humpback, allowing them to eat and drink. Others involved holding a paddle in the mouth in order to support the mask, rendering its wearer mute. Wearing masks was outlawed in the 18th century but was legalised in the seventies again, leading to a booming economy to the city built on a marsh. The mask is seen throughout history to grant its wearer a costume for the face. As humans express themselves through the musculature wrapped around the oculars, wearing a mask allows one to change their identity, be it for theatrical purpose or to evade identification. A masked person finds it easier to commit violence than an unmasked one. Hiding the face is common in military and religious subcultures around the world, but once features are applied to this covering the user can empathise more with the face they are wearing. For instance, in a werewolf film the actor may wear a facial prosthesis in order to appear werewolfian. Yet if one was to see through the mask, the actor would be pulling a strange expression (as would anyone acting like a monster whilst wearing a mask). The sorts of expressions are unseen in our day to day social interactions, but nevertheless have the potential to occur almost constantly.

In contemporary times the mask is linked with the party protest subculture ‘Anonymous’. People aged between 11-56 occasionally don a ‘Guido’ mask from the film ‘V is for Vendetta’ and pose for photographs at various political hotspots around the world. Made popular through the internet messaging board ‘4chan’, the group has hacked government e-mail accounts, leaked sensitive data encryption keys from the UNEFCA and helped bring down Colonel Bombay. The mask itself is a sort of ironic twist on the appearance of Al-Qaeda terror suspects, with wearers often accompanying the mask with a comfortable set of clothing and perhaps a placard covered in slogans, size 18 Impact font. These middle-class yobos often can be seen petrol bombing police horses or doing drive-by attacks from hi-jacked aeroplanes. This is the exact same reason people wore masks in Venice and will go on to follow the destiny that lurks in history, the banning of masks. Though this time it will be for every mask. The world will have no more masks left to wear.

This itself may not be as bad as it seems. Are we entering a world post public? I’m talking digital communications. Nerds are trend setters due to their close proximity to high technology, and if there’s anything we know about nerds is that they don’t leave the house.
“Mom! Bring me some fuckin’ Doritos!”
Yet there is still the need to be anonymous. In the early days it could be argued the internet itself was a mask for a user, allowing anyone to read or write whatever they wanted. But the internet of 99 is different to the one of 14. Nowadays you can't even find out the weather without logging into your bbc account that's linked up to your Nintendo Passport. The opposite of anonymity is fame, recognition. We're entering new private. A fridge that knows your birthday. A tie that helps you diet. A bong that has lights on it. Smear tech smart walls that watch your children and broadcast your thoughts to the government. Your car can fall in love with you. It will be harder and harder for one to do anything without being conscious that you're being watched before it's even been seen.
"Am I making this sandwich in a cool, awesome way?"
"Heh, that was funny. Just need to write it down."
"I'm going to learn the ukulele."
All the world's literally now a stage, rather than a metaphoric one. This is where people will start wearing masks even more because why not, what if you just wore a mask of a person and stood around, watching the sun rise? Gazing at the gap, between two stones, on the floor, at the intersection, of imagined lines. The axioms of living, the neural cartesia welded in place through action. The ego will being to boil and split away from the consciousness like a molten bin liner. People will wear masks more in the future because internet.

Fractal Food Chain

Dust mite on spider carcass.