In the land of ADHD, the half assed job is king. With 1 in
10 Americans now diagnosed with ADHD, I thought I'd get some young people
together to talk about their experiences under the guise of filming a new
YouTube series called ADHDnD, where interviewees would roleplay as themselves
trying to navigate the everyday world. I made them fill out character sheets
with stats like Attention, Rizz and Aura, and they would select a miniature 3D
model of themselves to move around the gameboard I had designed. I posed as a 'Day
Master', describing the different situations where the players would need to
roll a dice to see if they succeeded. Sounds good, right?
Todays contestants introduced themselves to camera.
“Hey guys, I’m Meclarissa and I have my own Etsy shop where I sell cute phone charms. I'm proud to say I have ADHD!”
“What’s up, the names Jodrell, I’m kinda neurospicy, I have also have ADHD and autism!”
“Hi, I’m Azax and I study Business at UCLA. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was six.”
I could tell the contestants were nervous, so I tell some dirty jokes then explained the rules. The aim of the game was simple, in that there was no aim. Just as life has no real meaning, neither did the game I had designed, but also like life, maybe we could film and edit parts of it for people watching videos on their phone whilst they are at work.
“Okay, your first task is getting out of bed. Meclarissa, do you want to go first?” I say. She rolls the D20 and gets 11. “That’s a success! Move your character piece.” I then run it again, with Jodrell managing to also get out of bed, whilst Azax rolls a 2. I shake my head.
“Looks like you’re getting a lie-in. Okay, next round. As your characters walk through the halls, you remember this is your first day at college. Other students pass you in the hallway, someone is playing a guitar from their dorm room and you see a big board with all your classes on it. What do you do?”
“Can I look at the board?” asks Meclarissa. I nod. She rolls the dice and gets a 4.
“Oo, bad luck. Instead of looking at the board you end up talking to someone about antique daggers. Jodrell, what do you want to do?”
“I kinda wanna listen what Meclarissa has to say about those daggers.” He says. Unfortunately, he rolls a 7.
“Not today Satan! Haha, get it? Like RuPaul’s Drag Race?”
“What about me?” says Azax.
“You need to get at least a 5. C’mon, you’re the only one here actually studying at college. You should be good at this game.” I say. Azax rolls the dice and gets another 2.
“Aw man.” He says. And on we go. Our players negotiate their first day at college, attending lectures, talking to students and professors, as well as hearing about a party later that night. Except Azax, who has been stuck in bed throughout the game.
“Can I just get out of bed?”
“Yeah, let him play.” Says Meclarissa. I scrunch my face up.
“Okay, if you can roll anything but a 1, you can get out of bed, how about that?” I say. He rolls again, everyone leans forward, watching the dice bounce across the gameboard. It’s a 1.
“Bruh.” He says, walking away.
“Hold it! The dorm supervisor walks past your room and notices you’ve been lying in bed all day. He shouts at you to get out of bed. Roll again.” I say, kicking myself for my weakness. Azax rolls. He gets a 6. Everybody cheers and starts patting him on the back.
“Yay!”
“Bro was about to crash out.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Meclarissa, what do you want to do?” I say, filming the game pieces with my phone.
“Can I go to the party?”
“Yup, you just need to pass a Rizz check. Roll 2 D20.” I say. She is successful, managing to move her game piece to one of the fraternity houses.
“I wanna go!” says Jodrell.
“Same again, but your Rizz stat is a lot lower than Meclarissa. You can only roll one D20.” I say. He just manages to scrape by.
“What about me? Can I go?”
“Well you spent all day in bed, how do you know about the party?”
“Can I call one of the others?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll call Jodrell.”
“Jodrell, do you pick up?”
“Sure. I got you bro.” smiles Jodrell at Azax.
“Great. You just need to roll a dice to see if you pick up in time. Nobody phones each other any more.”
“I meant message him.”
“He might not message back. He needs to roll a 10 or higher.” I say. Jodrell rolls. It’s a 9.
“Ooo, not your lucky day Azax. Your dorm-mate doesn’t reply to your message so you wander around the campus wondering where everybody is.”
“This game sucks.”
“No, you suck. You’ve been rolling dogshit. You think people want to watch a guy pretend to sleep in bed all day?”
“Hey man, that’s not nice!” says Jodrell, stepping between me and Azax.
“Yeah, he’s trying really hard.”
“I want to go home.”
“Just wait a second. Meclarissa and Jodrell are at this party, but then some cops show up. Turns out somebody had made a call saying there was a fight. The music turns off and the cops demand everyone goes home to their dorm. What are you going to do Meclarissa?”
“I’m gonna…I’m gonna stand up to them! And say that this is our first night at college and there wasn’t a fight, we’re just having fun.”
“You know what to do.” I say. She rolls a dice. It’s a 4. I wince.
“One of the cops goes up and starts to pepper spray you.”
“C’mon man, that’s not funny.”
“What are you going to do Jodrell?”
“I’m going to rescue Meclarissa.” He says, looking over to her.
“Okay, but if you fail this roll she gets the ick and you aren’t allowed to interact for the rest of the session.”
“I can do it. I can do it!” he says, blowing on the dice. He rolls. It’s a 17. They all start cheering.
“You push through the police, grab Meclarissa off the floor, then turn around. All the other students are watching you, filming you, they all start chanting that you’re Goated.” I say. Jodrell smiles. I turn to Azax.
“What about you my guy? What do you wanna do?”
“How about I see all the commotion out on the campus and I go over and try and take a cops gun?” he says.
“Ooo. Think you’re going to have to get a 20 for that.” I say. He rolls. It’s a 20, critical success.
“Haha, okay, you grab his gun. Meclarissa, what are you going to do? You still have the pepper spray status effect, which reduces your stats by 1.”
“Can I talk to Azax?”
“Sure.”
“Azax, you need to put down the gun.” She says earnestly. She rolls the D20 and gets a 4.
“You don’t convince him. He can barely hear you as your eyes and nose are running and you keep coughing. Jodrell, what about you?”
“Can I help him out?”
“What do you mean help him out? You want to go for a gun too?”
“No, no, like de-escalate the situation like Meclarissa.”
“Sure, roll the dice.” I say. We watch it roll a chaotic path on the game board, finally landing on 4.
“This time he hears you, but Azax doesn’t care. He can feel the weight of the Glock in his hand. His finger is on the trigger. Azax, what you gonna do?”
“I’m going to shoot myself.”
“Bruh. Don’t do it!” says Jodrell.
“Don’t unalive yourself Azax!”
“I spent my first day at college in bed, my friends ignored me, now I’ve stolen a cop’s gun. I’m cooked.”
“Sure, roll the dice then.” I say. It’s a 15.
“Okay, you put the gun to your head and blow your brains out in front of everyone. Everyone is stunned, the sound of the gun was so loud that the tone of it rings in their ears, signalling that nobody there would ever hear that particular frequency again. And with that, I think that’s a pretty good place to finish today’s game of ADHDnD!” I say, smiling at everybody.
“Azax, why did you do that?” Meclarissa says, upset. Azax just gets his phone out and starts looking at TikTok.
“Can we go home now?” he says. I shrug.
“So when’s this going to be uploaded?” asks Jodrell. Again, I shrug.
“Can you order me an uber, my Mom’s still at work.” Says Meclarissa. I shrug again.
“Stop shrugging bro!” Jodrell snaps. I shrug. The three players keep shouting at me and I keep shrugging until they lose their temper and leave the warehouse I’ve rented, leaving me shrugging in front of cameras I had never turned on.
Later that evening, I wonder if society could perhaps be kinder to people with different stuff going on in their lives. As my game showed, the world could be a cruel place, yet it didn’t need to be. If we involved a wider variety of people in how we designed things, we could make sure that everybody could participate. Spitefulness seemed to be the default response for any attempt to improve things, yet those people also needed to be included in how we create the world of tomorrow. Maybe cinemas could give out free popcorn, but there would be small pebbles thrown into the mix. Or maybe everyone who retires gets access to free public transport, except its always late and has no windows so when it rains people get blasted in the face. It was tough to balance spitefulness with kindness, but by meeting in the middle, everyone would be happy.
If you want to run your own game in your friend group, or even with people you only talk to on Discord, guess what? You can't. I ban you from it. Make up your own games instead.
