“and that's how I got to be the governor of Los Angeles.” said Arnold Schwarzenegger, taking a cigar from the ashtray and taking a big lungful of Cuban tobacco. I look over at his stunt double with a skin tight green lycra hood over his head wait to one side of the set while the green screen is sweeped of debris. We're on the set of Terminator 5 set for release next year. I have been trying to get this meeting since I'd arrived in Los Angeles and it seemed fitting for it to take place on my last day in the states. Arnold Schwarzenegger sits across from me in a wicker chair dressed in his signature leather jacket and jeans. Terminator make-up is applied to bits of his head and glints in the high noon sun thrown from a 1000w redhead.
“So tell me about this new Terminator flick.” I said.
“It's a reboot, but also a sequel. A paraquel. I play the role of a terminator sent back in time then is stuck in an alternative reality. The film flashes forward to the present day, where I have been aging. This is the first film where we really explore the philosophy of what it must mean to be a Terminator. It is a cybernetic organism yet has the ability to learn, a metal endoskeleton surrounded by living tissue. What are the differences and similairities between humans and machines? We hope to explore that in the next Terminator movie. That and time travel.”
“So what has the Terminator in this film been doing?”
“Since he saved Sarah Connor's parents he started a career in politics and is now lobbying for restrictions on research into robotics. This terminator is a member of a community. One day a terminator from his future is sent back in time in order to assassinate him and he has to try and keep himself safe whilst also trying to find out why the terminators will exist.”
“Is there action?”
“Let me tell you, the action in his movie will blow Terminator 3 out of the water! We have the director of Fast and Furious to come in to film, there's Tom Hardy playing the evil futuristic terminator, Emily Watson to play Terminator's wife, Justin Timberlake to play John Connor and Dwayne Johnson as a detective, who also turns out be to be a robot.”
“Sounds like that's an all star cast Mr. Schwarzenegger. What other projects do you have in the pipeline?” I said, watching the action taking place on stage. The stunt double rides a flaming car like it's a surf board before leaping off whilst 760 miniaturised cameras begin to take pictures.
“I'm also going to make a sequel to Pumping Iron.”
“Excellent.” I said. We chat a little more before Arnie is called back on set.
“I'll be right back.” he walks off. I can't help but feel disappointed he said 'right', missing an opportunity to deliver his famous catchphrase. I pack up my notes into my bag and go back out to the car.
I ask Bill to take a long route to the airport. We drive along Venice beach, through Little Ethiopia, down to gentrified Inglewood and San Pedro.
“Did you manage to find the edge of the city?”
“I don't think it exists.”
“That's a shame. It was fun anyway.”
“Remember when I released those wasps in the museum?” I said.
“I liked that day we drove all the way to San Diego and you were like 'Is this LA? Is this LA?'” laughed Bill.
“What was the name of those women we met?”
“Where?”
“At the art gallery.”
“Casandra and Jacqueline.” said Bill, smiling.
“That was a wild night. You remember dancing on the roof of the Aon centre?”
“You fell!”
“Nah, I had a parachute. What will you be doing after this?”
“I don't know. Go get something to eat. Go see my family.” said Bill. We drive along Mulholland and through Glendale, San Bernardino heights then Santa Monica. The Paul Getty Museum, Dodger Stadium, Hollywood Boulevard, the Chinese Theatre, City Hall, LAX. The car parks up outside the entrance.
“Thanks Bill. Take care of yourself.”
“You too.” he said. I get out, shutting the door behind me which rocks the car slightly. I go to knock on his window and he rolls it down.
“I left something on the back seat for you. Live long and prosper.” I say, throwing a peace sign before going towards the departure entrance. Bill looks over his shoulder, then goes in the back. Just where I'd been sitting I left a bag. He unfastens the latches on it and opens it up, inside is a dead dog with it's mouth stuffed with a roll of hundred dollar bills.
I took a window seat as the plane began to drive on the runway and reflected on my journey. The quest for the edge of Los Angeles. It had been a series of thrills and spills but in the end I learned a valuable lesson. I take out a copy of City Of Quartz and begin to read. Partway through I realised the plane was still driving on the runway. I turn to the seat next to me.
“Why haven't we set off yet?” I asked. There's no-one there. In fact, there's no-one on the whole plane. I put the book down and walk up the aisles. “Hello?” I said. The plane begins to turn and I look out of the window at LAX slowly rolling past, again. I go through First Class and pause at the pilot's door before knocking. I wait for a while and was about to go back to my seat when I heard the door being unlocked. I turned around. In the frame stands a naked man.
“Who...who are you?” I said. The man began to walk towards me. Behind him I can see the runway stretch ahead of us and the plane begins to accelerate. I back off slowly, watching as he advances towards me before setting off into a run.
“Who are you?” I shout, running down the aisles. But there is nowhere to go. The plane begins to take off and I scramble through the seats as the floor begins to dip, just about managing to sit down and fasten a belt across my lap. The man appeared from around the corner and stared at me, seemingly unaffected by the sudden increase in altitude.
“What do you want? Who's flying this plane?!” I said. He reached up to his face and began to pull at his top lip. With the engines screaming on both sides of us I watched as he began to unzip his skin. The human form peeled away to reveal an Untitled painting by Rothko. I sat in my chair convulsing as the plane finally takes off back towards England.
Showing posts with label hollywoodland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hollywoodland. Show all posts
22.11.13
4.10.13
A History Of Hollywood
The city streets were shape shifting, caught in a transmorphing temporal wormhole of culture generated through the Hollywoodland media cluster. The combination of population density, money, technology, crime, topology and cinema had made Los Angeles transcend from reality into a metaphor, exemplifying humanity's utter present, using the city as canvas. It's architecture a continuous set for the people acting out potentials, the asphalt and concrete and glass and metal sprawling outwards, increasing in citymass hour by hour. There are times in the year when stood at precise points across the city that its entirety reflects back at you and you are caught in the composite eye of Los Angeles and it burns you with a million reflections from windows in high rise buildings, the shafts of light are caught against your retinas then stabbed into your brain, the concentrated beam melting through your neurons like satan's lasers.
The city of Los Angeles. Home to Hollywoodland, built in 1902 by the Warner Brothers. The Hollywood sign now rests on the side of mountain, an old ad gimmick, white letters arranged amongst rocks and scrub land. It is a kitsch icon, a set of modernist erected fonts each as tall as a building that further went on to dub it's surroundings as Hollywood in 1947. Hollywood is home to several film studios, including the empty sets of the olden days you may have seen in pictures at your local cinema. All of the Hollywood executives ride around in expensive cars and they wear nice suits, they have the final say in the taste in style as they're the ones that decide which film is going to be made! The producers often have big piles of money stacked up on their desk, ready to give to the best director. The director then takes the money away and begins to hire writers, camera crew and actors to be in his picture. These stars and starlets of Hollywood are as follows: Johnny Depp, Simon Agby, Brad Pitt, Joanna Lumley, Sarah Jessica Parker, Justin Timberlake, Will Smith, Johnny Knoxville, Angela Carter, Channing Tatum, Harrison Ford, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, John Travolta, Courtney Cox, Nicholas Cage and Michael Cera. The film executives often spend a few hours a day looking through glossy black and white photos of potential actors for their films, muttering to themselves whilst smoking cigars. Meanwhile back on the sets of Universal Studios the film will begin to be made whilst the marketing gurus begin to advertise the picture, using social media, alternative reality games, merchandise, trailers, the web, billboards, newspaper articles, events and a word of mouth campaign. The film will be broken down into its basic components before being reconstructed by CGI. All of the best films nowadays are 3D and shown on cinemas around the globe, with 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound and comfortable chairs. Some cinemas even offer popcorn to munch throughout the movie viewing experience as you whisper to your friends;
“This movie rocks!”
“I don't know what to say, I love it.”
“The ending...it's a killer!”
“That was one seriously funny movie.”
Viewers are then persuaded to go home and think about the film as they lie in bed, unable to get to sleep. They can't stop thinking about it! For the next few days it will be all they will be able to talk about, often stopping people in public, physically restraining them by the shoulders, and telling them about the film. They would speak immensely quickly and sometimes get their words jumbled up, often being pushed to the ground by other people due to the enthusiasm they display in talking about the movie. There bodies would begin to convulse and blood begin to leak from the ears, nose and throat, muffling their voices in the sticky iron redness. The eyeballs would melt out of their sockets and the face would begin to turn inside out, the roof of the mouth being pushed out of the lips as the entire skull cracks. The organs begin to dissolve the skin and tissue surrounding them, displaying a bed of human entrails sitting in the body cavity that thump and twitch along to the rapidly beating heart and everything begins to bleed and rip itself open and scream. The director walks in front of the camera and yells 'Cut! That's a wrap.'
The actor sits up in his prosthetic latex suit.“How did I do?”
“You were great!” says the camera man. The crew begins to clap and the actor looks around, smiling.
The city of Los Angeles. Home to Hollywoodland, built in 1902 by the Warner Brothers. The Hollywood sign now rests on the side of mountain, an old ad gimmick, white letters arranged amongst rocks and scrub land. It is a kitsch icon, a set of modernist erected fonts each as tall as a building that further went on to dub it's surroundings as Hollywood in 1947. Hollywood is home to several film studios, including the empty sets of the olden days you may have seen in pictures at your local cinema. All of the Hollywood executives ride around in expensive cars and they wear nice suits, they have the final say in the taste in style as they're the ones that decide which film is going to be made! The producers often have big piles of money stacked up on their desk, ready to give to the best director. The director then takes the money away and begins to hire writers, camera crew and actors to be in his picture. These stars and starlets of Hollywood are as follows: Johnny Depp, Simon Agby, Brad Pitt, Joanna Lumley, Sarah Jessica Parker, Justin Timberlake, Will Smith, Johnny Knoxville, Angela Carter, Channing Tatum, Harrison Ford, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, John Travolta, Courtney Cox, Nicholas Cage and Michael Cera. The film executives often spend a few hours a day looking through glossy black and white photos of potential actors for their films, muttering to themselves whilst smoking cigars. Meanwhile back on the sets of Universal Studios the film will begin to be made whilst the marketing gurus begin to advertise the picture, using social media, alternative reality games, merchandise, trailers, the web, billboards, newspaper articles, events and a word of mouth campaign. The film will be broken down into its basic components before being reconstructed by CGI. All of the best films nowadays are 3D and shown on cinemas around the globe, with 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound and comfortable chairs. Some cinemas even offer popcorn to munch throughout the movie viewing experience as you whisper to your friends;
“This movie rocks!”
“I don't know what to say, I love it.”
“The ending...it's a killer!”
“That was one seriously funny movie.”
Viewers are then persuaded to go home and think about the film as they lie in bed, unable to get to sleep. They can't stop thinking about it! For the next few days it will be all they will be able to talk about, often stopping people in public, physically restraining them by the shoulders, and telling them about the film. They would speak immensely quickly and sometimes get their words jumbled up, often being pushed to the ground by other people due to the enthusiasm they display in talking about the movie. There bodies would begin to convulse and blood begin to leak from the ears, nose and throat, muffling their voices in the sticky iron redness. The eyeballs would melt out of their sockets and the face would begin to turn inside out, the roof of the mouth being pushed out of the lips as the entire skull cracks. The organs begin to dissolve the skin and tissue surrounding them, displaying a bed of human entrails sitting in the body cavity that thump and twitch along to the rapidly beating heart and everything begins to bleed and rip itself open and scream. The director walks in front of the camera and yells 'Cut! That's a wrap.'
The actor sits up in his prosthetic latex suit.“How did I do?”
“You were great!” says the camera man. The crew begins to clap and the actor looks around, smiling.
8.9.13
The City Of Angles
A dim bulb lights everything yellow in the small room I am in. A desk, a chair, a bed, a sink. A toilet is down the corridor and buzzes with moths. Through the wall I can hear a radio play. The street is lit with street lights, shop windows, car headlights and pollution, making the time appear not to matter, an endless day in Los Angeles. I'd landed at LAX, ate some breakfast at Denny's, then went to a car rental place. I picked a mid-range engine car that appeared stocky, yet did well with fuel consumption. It was white. I drove down a few streets and onto the highway, a Holiday Inn before settling down with some wine and aspirin. The Earth is turning, revealing the sun to appear towards the rest of America. I was as far as I could go West before Asia, barring Hawaii and parts of South America, maybe Alaska.
Los Angeles is often referred to in dance songs where the names of large cities are shouted out before a funny sound is played. Being one of the biggest cities in the world, Los Angeles is one of America's interesting developments perhaps only opposing New York in wow factor. The thirty thousand square foot urban zone rests on the coast of California and is home to roughly sixty million people, including some of the most valuable celebrities that we know of. Los Angeles is often called Hollywood (or the Sparkle City) in which a good proportion of films have been made over the last century, pretty much anything you can name was released through Hollywood. Steven Spielberg shops at the local Wal-Mart rubbing shoulders with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Lopez, Kanye West and Channing Tatum. Films themselves are shot throughout the city, with large portions cordoned off as they create action set-pieces to be enhanced with computers at a later date. Car bombs, terrorist attacks, serial killers, police brutality, evil gangs and school shootings all take place amidst day-to-day life. Camera crews chase people into restaurants and nightclubs, crime scenes and production studios. Everyone you meet can't help but be in the film industry, sixty million of them constantly wear HD makeup and wear costumes daily, sometimes carrying props to and fro in the hopes that they may stumble upon the chance to be in a film! As well as being known as a city of fun it is also been known to be a city of danger. But politicians and police are working with communities to make Los Angeles a safer place for everyone.
A thick fog rolls in, making everything inky and seem unreal. I decide to walk as morning comes, everything 4:3 at 16:9. I hear cars but the road is quiet. I gratefully get into my own car and stare at the dashboard before pulling out. As I begin to get used to the pedals I am reminded of recurring dreams I have where I drive a car that often separates into several components before being reformed as a skateboard. What did this mean. Was I born to skate? I decided to check out a local skate park to find out. It was shut at first but I managed to get in before beginning to run up and down the ramps as fast as I dared. It was coming up to six and it started to get busy. Before I knew what was happening I was stuck on the freeway, honking my horn constantly. A man driving a bulldozer leaned out of his cab and shouted “Move it, jackass.” I was about to do the same before I saw they were shooting a film ahead. Tom Hanks was stumbling down the road with heavy wound makeup applied all over his body, including a missing arm. I then realised it wasn't a film, but a man who resembled the actor had been in a serious collision. The traffic eventually started moving again and I drove past the injured man, hearing the ambulances behind me. He looked at me as if to say 'Yes, I am a clone of Tom Hanks'.
Later on I sat outside a diner, drinking a coffee. I thought about why I was there. What was I doing. How did I feel and more importantly, who knew about it? I puffed out a tweet into the internet cosmos then began to sulk. Of course, I remembered why I was there. To write a ground breaking expose on Western society in the 21st century interlinked with finding myself whilst on a holiday abroad. I had an e-book planned and everything. I drank the coffee. I had some interviews planned, whacky places to visit and even a day in which I would go into the desert and pose for photographs. It seemed like a good idea. But now I was there, I hated it. I nearly cancelled the photoshoot when I received a phonecall. I answered it and listened to the silence.
“Hello?” I said. On the other end of the line I could hear animals breathing and a low buzzing sound. A door slammed shut. If I listened closely I could just make out some talking, but couldn't discern what any of the words were. The call ended. I held the phone in my hand and watched it intently, wondering if it would ring again, but it didn't. My coffee was cold. I decided to go back to my room and try to get some sleep, driving through the city, lost in it's busyness.
Los Angeles is often referred to in dance songs where the names of large cities are shouted out before a funny sound is played. Being one of the biggest cities in the world, Los Angeles is one of America's interesting developments perhaps only opposing New York in wow factor. The thirty thousand square foot urban zone rests on the coast of California and is home to roughly sixty million people, including some of the most valuable celebrities that we know of. Los Angeles is often called Hollywood (or the Sparkle City) in which a good proportion of films have been made over the last century, pretty much anything you can name was released through Hollywood. Steven Spielberg shops at the local Wal-Mart rubbing shoulders with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Lopez, Kanye West and Channing Tatum. Films themselves are shot throughout the city, with large portions cordoned off as they create action set-pieces to be enhanced with computers at a later date. Car bombs, terrorist attacks, serial killers, police brutality, evil gangs and school shootings all take place amidst day-to-day life. Camera crews chase people into restaurants and nightclubs, crime scenes and production studios. Everyone you meet can't help but be in the film industry, sixty million of them constantly wear HD makeup and wear costumes daily, sometimes carrying props to and fro in the hopes that they may stumble upon the chance to be in a film! As well as being known as a city of fun it is also been known to be a city of danger. But politicians and police are working with communities to make Los Angeles a safer place for everyone.
A thick fog rolls in, making everything inky and seem unreal. I decide to walk as morning comes, everything 4:3 at 16:9. I hear cars but the road is quiet. I gratefully get into my own car and stare at the dashboard before pulling out. As I begin to get used to the pedals I am reminded of recurring dreams I have where I drive a car that often separates into several components before being reformed as a skateboard. What did this mean. Was I born to skate? I decided to check out a local skate park to find out. It was shut at first but I managed to get in before beginning to run up and down the ramps as fast as I dared. It was coming up to six and it started to get busy. Before I knew what was happening I was stuck on the freeway, honking my horn constantly. A man driving a bulldozer leaned out of his cab and shouted “Move it, jackass.” I was about to do the same before I saw they were shooting a film ahead. Tom Hanks was stumbling down the road with heavy wound makeup applied all over his body, including a missing arm. I then realised it wasn't a film, but a man who resembled the actor had been in a serious collision. The traffic eventually started moving again and I drove past the injured man, hearing the ambulances behind me. He looked at me as if to say 'Yes, I am a clone of Tom Hanks'.
Later on I sat outside a diner, drinking a coffee. I thought about why I was there. What was I doing. How did I feel and more importantly, who knew about it? I puffed out a tweet into the internet cosmos then began to sulk. Of course, I remembered why I was there. To write a ground breaking expose on Western society in the 21st century interlinked with finding myself whilst on a holiday abroad. I had an e-book planned and everything. I drank the coffee. I had some interviews planned, whacky places to visit and even a day in which I would go into the desert and pose for photographs. It seemed like a good idea. But now I was there, I hated it. I nearly cancelled the photoshoot when I received a phonecall. I answered it and listened to the silence.
“Hello?” I said. On the other end of the line I could hear animals breathing and a low buzzing sound. A door slammed shut. If I listened closely I could just make out some talking, but couldn't discern what any of the words were. The call ended. I held the phone in my hand and watched it intently, wondering if it would ring again, but it didn't. My coffee was cold. I decided to go back to my room and try to get some sleep, driving through the city, lost in it's busyness.
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