Forever Folding Flesh

Millions have been donated into researching possible similarities between machinery and athletes. Particular experiments include inserting sponges into the anal cavity of athletes and then measuring dampness on exposure to various powertool demonstrations. Angle Grinders and Impact Wrenches were found to be the most arousing and interviews carried out with the subjects afterwards showed an increased interest in both construction and demolition sites as possible areas to practise for the upcoming 2012 olympic festival of games. Touching is encouraged.

Saviour

There is an old oil tanker currently in the Pacific ocean that Jacob Donaldson has taken over and used to create a travelling island. The deck of the ship has been transformed into stretches of soil and vegetation. Amongst the grass and the trees move tigers and apes, the only two species Donaldson decided would go onto his boat. In the keel of the ship are various gardens, personally attended to by Jacob Donaldson. Nobody knows how long Donaldson will occupy the boat although his family are currently attempting to rescue him due to his previous history of madness.

Art Festival 2011

Just after dinner time, the first artists took to the field stage. He was a skinny man with a face resembling a skull, he was Conrad Money. The audience of seven hundred or so people sat on the grass and the hard, cracked soil, just waiting to see what would happen. Conrad was ready to face such an atmosphere of hostility. He had a keyboard strapped across his chest which he started to finger a melody with whilst staring down at his own foot. A man with a bandana on his head jeered. Nevertheless, Conrad slowly started to kneel down with his face screwed in a more intense expression of concentration, sweat started to appear on his head. The melody sped up a little while he recorded it onto a usb casette linked up to the 10kw system. He then stopped playing, faced the audience and squeezed the muscles in his face again, turning a deep red. A huge magnifying glass had been rolled out from the left of the stage and now placed in front of Conrad. He was popping all of the blood vessels in his face, small droplets of blood started to appear. They seemed to shine like rubies, gently rolling down like molten gem stones. The keyboard melody meanwhile had slowly gotten louder and louder, nearly deafening everybody. Some people had started shouting silently at Conrad Money who was quivering in concentration. The sound suddenly stopped. Conrad stopped pushing and stood up, smiling. A luxurious voice could be heard. “Conrad Money everybody. Good afternoon everybody!” said Bono before beginning to sing.

As Bono tearfully dedicated his last song to the starving children living on the streets, the crowd wondered how long it would last. A small cloud slowly shrivelled into nothing, then Bono thanked the crowd. A sculpture was now rolled onto the stage, dragged by Conrad Money. The sculpture was made of gold, shimmering slightly in the heat. It was of a famous professional wrestler, posed apparently mid-grapple. The wrestler himself was backstage, cracking at his fingers. He wasn't sure what was going to happen, he had just been told to wrestle with a statue for five minutes. As he was shown behind a curtain by a short usher, he crumpled a bottle of water in his hand. “Hey, toss this in the trash would you?” he said, chucking the folded plastic to another usher. Finally, he got out onto stage and looked at the golden, scale model of him. It was pretty lifelike. But the wrestler was a pro, it didn't put him off. He didn't even care. His hands slapped around the shoulders and he started to try and push and pull at the metal body. The perfectly polished surface of the statue was slowly getting slathered in fingerprints, the real man sweating and straining. Behind him a DJ was scratching out some kind of jazz funk. The wrestler was finding it suprisingly difficult after a minute or so, not needing to pretend any more. Hot metal. Conrad Money was now reading out quotes other Wrestler's had taunted him with for the last twenty years, nearly rapping along with the funk. The DJ's dreadlocks slapped from side to side. A single tear welled up in the Wrestler's eye. The crowd meanwhile were starting to understand, nodding. By the end of the piece the Wrestler had burst into tears after staring into his gold, dead eyes.

His Soul was Captured By Peter Venkman

October is the correct month for ghost tricks, ectophile rampages and witches brew sessions.

Gallery Births

His previous work had involved small scale artistic interventions on people, such as wearing their clothes and following them or setting up a series of elaborate situations so that that person believed they were somebody else. The latest 120 minute electronic delight delivered by Jacob Donaldson involved him taking four different drugs and having sex whilst cosmically ranting. The two hour film was then projected through the windows of random houses whilst the sound was played with 1000 watt speakers. Though there were many complaints about the film, Jacob Donaldson went on to win many awards that year.

Scalene Triangles

The
Measurements and
Angles of her face
Were as
Dramatic and
Complex
As
Those used
in
Rocket Science

La Li Lu Le Lo

Display

Pioneer Ten bumped against the edge of the curtain and was gently pushed back. "That was close." whispered the stage-hand.

Emotion Shapes

The recent show PRIFKIN curated by Jacob Donaldson had it's opening night last Wednesday and was graced by many of the upper echelons of the creative community. Whilst walked around the conceptual abstractions by Donaldson, one couldn't help but bump into famous faces such as Mirrielle Mellin or David Phyall. Gary Harper commented that the show was “One of the most artistic things he has ever seen.” He then pointed to a overexposed polaroid of Donaldson slaughtering an ape with a handsaw and began to clap. Jacob Donaldson wasn't in attendance that night due to other obligations although he had hired an impersonator of himself to walk around for a few minutes.

Short Arse

Paul Abraham Hewson was the lead singer for a band used as a cultural weapon through subliminal acoustic messages. His 'attack rock' planted common sounds found during public life (such as the low frequency noise that traffic lights play or the notes from telephone ringtones) and wove them into thought strings which culminated in a devastating apathy. Their Greatest Hits album was the cultural equivalent to a large scale toxic weapon attack.

The scales of autism and schizophrenia were equally balanced.

Meat Raffle

Configuration

A man in six parts on a cube.

The Accelerating Man

“There are as many atoms in a person as there would take people to fill a star. I therefore suggest that stars are also people, what we see is merely a metaphor. This also explains the stars sometimes conducting particle acceleration experiments with people instead of protons.” - Richard Dawkins

School of Thought

In ten years all of the information will be at the fingertips of everybody with the latest high technological gizmo like an extra tooth that scans the objects around you or a glow in the dark wig that allows you to talk to your friends. Due to this schools will stop teaching knowledge and switch to teaching learning through a variety of fictional lessons. These will take place in huge magnetic rooms where students will be straddled with heavy goggles that give them tunnel vision as they trudge across the concrete floor, trying to pick out relevant clues to possible histories or attempting basic arithmetic by combining awkwardly shaped weights into standard geometric shapes.

January 16th 2013

face blast

Ultimate Fixation

He looked down the edge of the building and spat, it tumbled from his mouth an onto the glass outer shell of the skyscraper. He bellowed, drunkenly that the world was going to end before taking out a silver parcelet. He had seen the Earth in a far enough galaxy for it to be visible and has studied a magnificent plaque where Europe and Asia should have been. It gave the codes to futuristic ideals to anybody looking, a marble in space. After casting down the small parcel he leapt off the building, bouncing and rolling. The bones in his chest and head looked like a bag of jiggling kidney beans. The parcel contained a single drawing by the suicidal maniac, it was of a twirling arrow entering a series of triangles above a series of numbers. What was on the paper didn't actually matter as the man had pre-treated the paper so that if it was ever shouted at loud enough that the ink would re-arrange into the clue to the secret of interdimensional metawarp bullshit.

Post-Structuralistic Blood Rituals

Exterior

He tried to measure the lengths of the building just by using his own body. The arms were used to measure furniture while the ceiling was calculated by human height.

Modern Warfare Explained

Gary Harper has recently completed an exhibition at the Bowline National Park based around his experiences as a jet fighter pilot. Whilst walking through the fields of the park you notice scale models of battlefields on the ground, miniaturized disaster areas. At each edge of the gallery designated area were large aircraft engines that idle slowly, the mechanical wind slightly waving the grasses or brushing peoples hair over there faces. On the last night of the exhibition Gary Harper himself made an appearance, turning on the huge engines to full power so that they tore themselves free from their metal plinths and flew off into the surrounding forests and fields. His replicas were severely damaged in both the blast of the engines and ensuing panic that followed. That's when the strobe lights were turned on.

The Man who wanted to turn into A Car

It happened!

The Truth

The booster rocket divorced itself from the shuttle, flying backwards into space. It is briefly caught in the path of debris that the other booster gives off before spinning down to Earth. The camera lens in it's eye looks up at the sun and down at the ocean, again and again. Sometimes it caught a glimpse of the other rocket as it left a yellow trail whilst re-entering the atmosphere but otherwise it was the simple white and blacks of space and the occasional flick of the sea below. Down it went, faster and faster until it entered enough air to begin making sounds again. A series of planes below it pointed huge magnets upwards, catching the metal framework and guiding it towards land. The silver planes eventually side winded away to leave the huge rocket engine hurtling into the twin towers, destroying them both in an cataclysm of interstellar velocity. “The mission was a success.” said the president of the united states, drinking a glass of bourbon whilst watching New York be engulfed in a toxic smog.

Regeneration

The history of sport is based primarily around the events of the 1968 olympics taking place in Atlanta, Florida. One of the most amazing events was the appearance of Sun Ra performing an open-air concert amidst the hop skip and a jump challenge segment. It was also recorded as being voted one of the most cool olympic games in the 20th century, the runner up was the 1908 summer slam event taking place in Austria, Germany.

Javelins spear through the air like wet butterflies, pointy sticks earning medal made of gold. This is the introductory line of the 2012 national olympic booklet, a description of a magnificent sporting achievement for a country with an athlete good enough to be an olympian. Miss Spukarcala watched through chrome binoculars at a five thousand metre sprint between the nations, the beating of the feet in perfect synchronization, millipede of men followed the orbit of the track. A 13th and a 20th place, each athlete choosing a tarot card before they begin the event. The big finish of a winner, bunched up and depressed. All they needed was the warmth of the olympic village. Wild parties happened at these olympic villages, orgies of electrolytes. Old physical education memories hum in the funk, dehydration became one of the worst injuries off the field. The great british public can only wonder what kind of amazing lifestyles the olympians have!

Engorged with Blood

The contours of her thighs, the cracking of her pelvis as she moves into the position deemed comfortable for viewing three dimensional news reports. Cameras capture natural disasters and war atrocities in stunning colour, they become as abstract and ridiculous as anything else.

Aesthetics of Anaesthetics

Bright star super secrets. Here is the pathology of light, temporally loud. Exchanges on the spectrum (1) are identified as cretins of science. The ruling species of thought. Omniglobular beacons echo throughout, thoughtout. Grand designs of bizarre gods which defy the ultimate rules. Armitage Shanks looks beyond, outside networks of neurons, up quarks, down quarks, Higgs bosoms and a ****. Invisible ghosts which make up the metadata of consistence. Standard models waltz overhead, twirling like dancers. A cold peak develops, raging hard and quivering in the blizzard of particles like the grudge weapons from world war 2. Armistice Shankhs swept at these as if they were invisible demons, bellowing out between bleeding gums damaged by years of processed sugar use. “Knowledge means fuck all when you've only got a couple of lousy bucks in your dungaree pocket.” He was picked up by silver limousines, driving into the night like mechanical phantoms. A footnote in future text books about the perverse psychosexual nature of government conspiracies.

Chrononaut Lesson

/And now I return to a classic. Perhaps one of the nicest classics in the whole of the history of science, which would be time travel. In part of the lexicon for the laymen, time travel can be explained as something travelling through time as easy as it is travelling through the three dimensions of space we currently think about. There are as many dimensions of time as there are physical, if you can imagine a cube made out of time we experience it in a single direction as if we am slug? Currently time travel has been restricted to those in the future. People from the future walk amongst us, sometimes as observers, sometimes to enjoy our freedoms and post modernism and sometimes to manipulate events so that they are guaranteed to be born into success and happiness. There are things such as the grandfather paradox, in which if you travel through time there is a chance you have sex with your grandmother.

Another fact about the future is that we have replaced most of our standard senses with bizarre augmentations such as flesh paddles used to detect and manipulate electromagnetic radiation or a tesseractoid exoskeleton. Advertising companies have manipulated viruses which give the symptoms of thirst or dizziness, the only cure being found inside the product. Some people will choose to be machines like cars, televisions or pylons. Another fact about time travel is that the government are currently sending people back and forwards through time in experiments carried out beneath the Large Hadron Collider. Though they can only travel relatively short distances like a few hours, this technology lead to early time crimes and enormous boosts in lost sport almanacs.

HPPD Therapy

Magic eye patterns dissolve showing miserable sex acts. The only clues in the crime of the century.

Life is Hot

Two supercomputers sit opposite each other. One writes random mathematical formulas, the other reads them to see if they have any kind of scientific merit. The theory of relativity can be explained with five characters so it was thought best to build the machines to try through chance to make the next big discovery. The reading machine got a formulae one day that read 'Hello'. A tear welled up in it's robotic eye as it was unable to return the greeting.

Life in The Upper Atmosphere

There are many insects and other small animals that exist high above the planet but below space. They get caught in winds that take them higher and higher, surfing the global geothermal air currents like bizarre bouncing balls. Pilots familiar with these small creatures call them 'Angels', a personal joke as they enjoy crashing their supersonic jet fighters into them as revenge for denying evolution. Whoever gets the most crystalline things etched on the glass of their plane gets a double yoghurt.

Dreams About Success

Divers leap off diving boards at different heights whilst lights flash off their bodies faster than the rest of colour can be shown due to the large amounts of sleep deprivation and sugar everybody in the audience was dosed with. High speed cameras record it all and show the reality of what was happening above in stunning high definition, the quakes of skin and muscle beneath damp nylon and spandex captured on computers and broadcast across the hot earth. Intercut with this are some of the all time greatest moments in history with new audio commentaries by those involved to give a deeper insight into the mechanics of value. Armitage Shanks watches, wondering where he could get some snacks from. He lazily lifts a swollen palm and shouts "Who do I have to blow to get a burger around here?"

At the bottom of the olympic swimming pool is a performance artist protesting capitalism, demonstrating it by having a circular cage around his waist containing an eel and motion sensors. As the eel circulates his midriff, small sensors are triggered to release thousands of dollars in unmarked bills into the chlorinated water.

The Beamer

Fake time machine magazines smelling like cheap meat and sweat, generally. Horror films portray the imaginary corpse diagrams for murders, shapes similar to sleeping positions found in both tall and short people. His whole digestive system was failing due to severe constipation, brought on by a dread. Beacons of nerve clusters echo out.

Small plants have recently been found growing inside people. Drug smugglers are known to plant rows of seeds underneath their skin, nefarious flora. Certain tribes in darkest Vietnam have been found to actually get vitamins from the sun. There is hope that science can understand in what way will growing vegetables inside your chest would be useful.

Antihumanism

Parasites sharing diets, getting stoned. Take a time travel trip ride whit me.

Her Brains, Her Skull, Her Haircut

The scientist enhanced the image, letting down her hair as she did so. Möbius curls invented by shampoo consultants, bronze and tin and blonde and brown and black and grey and red and blue and white. Her hair smelled like chemicals flavoured like trees and fruit, she often joked about it loudly. “Martinis are like breasts. Three is two many and one is a sad story.” Laser beams bounced on her neck because it made her look more dramatic in the 21st century. The first century where people took emotional cues from television more than real life like back in the 20th century.

“I know how a serpent walks.” Bernard Colloquy, inventor of the car simulator.

Time Conspiracy

Ancient astronauts landed on Earth 65 million years ago, exterminating everything with dull laser guns. They trudged slowly through the swamp, the hell of a planet where the best creatures in that environment were giant lizards. Deciding them too ridiculous to live, the astronauts walked across the supercontinents, gnashing their terrible teeth and rolling their terrible eyes as they did so. They were disgusted at the feathered dinosaurs or the insects the size of dogs, shooting pathetic lasers through the fog. A few of their ships were attacked once and forced to be abandoned at the same site as the pyramids are today.

Blood Trail

Anachronisms such as Pete Tong or landline telephones exist in the world, solid ghosts.

EFGABCDE=40080022

Rollercoaster into Space

Watch out for aliens and shit!

Pinch

Transfer through alanine outer shells, the higher fantasy for upcoming forecloses of imaginary power shuffles. Vasquez boasts woefully in his predictions the overfed autoregressive gestures of a simple . a gong sounds faster in the hue of hearths air than the fashion agenda for the solar surf sail nude dudes. Love is hot.

Harmful gas straits ongoing shags for playboys. Gas from landfills, unsafe for the delicate. Squirts of sex, dabs of genetics. The vulva. The penis. Mexico. Ex-girlfriend feuds faultlessly rethought out and replayed like the bad greatest hits on a channel nobody watches, even ironically. Less facts! The tub tubes, the attitude due-r-tissue girls. MRI scans of celebrities are projected onto buildings to inspire subservient thought process whilst metasonic jets fly overhead, pilots on speed with boiling blood. They crumble underneath their uniforms like nothing.

History of Pain

£10,000,000

Electronics powered by blood.

Aut

1973-2008

Surrounded By Zero Vibes

Armitage Shanks stops his car, unsliding the key from the ignition. Sitting motionless, less is more and he begins to vibrate. Supercooled lasers at different angles engage him, ultimate parallax into a wormhole. Thin black veins shoot across the atlas of his brain sphere, tesseractoid segments in space unfold before him like origami to reveal the infinite metadimensions. He gasps, audibly.

Meanwhile a dozen Roland SH-101s throb to the strobing beat of the pulsars. “It's so...funky.”

armitage shanks lights a cigarette looks in his rear view mirror and sees a ghost am I dreaming or is this virtual reality it says he shakes his head there is a twist in the end he says the intellectuals called this the pigs Tail a pun about how a pig has genitals shaped like corkscrews ghost evaporates into ectoplasm never to be thought of again he recycles a pair of polarized glasses and drives off after leaving a scumpled up polaroid of a woman showing his rosebud.

The Prosthetic Husband

Faking a quantum suicide, bug eyed and 16:9. Ghost limbs ache. Dread. That's what happens when coming back from uncle war. Just one more thing.






Tequila slammer. Tequila mockingbird.

Jupiter, Venus, Mars

Black holes crush planets and atoms together, creating microscopic universes behind the corneas. Post-LHC, scientists decide that the site of the previous fastest running particle accelerator should be used to host a special server to host streaming internet videos. Benoit became paranoid, believing his waking time and sleep time had become reversed. If he had lived long enough he would have found that the motion picture 'Inception' directed by Christopher Knowlen to be the key to his life, especially the wintery bits. Instead he became trapped in a DMT induced time loop where he believes he is untangling a large bundle of electrical chords.

Perfect Combo Meal

Measurements with left hand, measurements of right hand compared. The digital switchover was a masquerade for freeing up electromagnetic wave frequencies previously used for television broadcast and now used to send fat packets of information from the government to itself. A recurring theme in the conspiracy thriller category of fiction, it doesn't take a shit sherlock to not poo poo the idea. You look at yourself in the mirror and discover you are wearing a questionable item of clothing bought off the internet? Ghosts of old social networking sites return to memory, flashbacks of a traumatic malfunction.

Super Sex

Roborz self correcting. Armitage Shanks looks at the bizarre speculum in his hand, one made for unknown maws. It is red.

Execution

Baying idiots shuffle around the bed, microbes and small fishes and evolutionary conclusions of the dinosaurs parading like wild things on top of kashmir rugs. Bizarre USB lava lamps shine and shone around. Many words interpretation of Yorkshire, the beams of metal interlock into the ashtray patterns of world leaders. Molten glitter.

Horatio the horn blower takes off his sunglasses to look at a photograph of a man inside a barrel where holes had been cut for his arms and legs. This man was Oliver Reed. "Enchance!" he ordered. With the right encryption algorithms the reflection of a door handle gave a five hundred and sixty degree view of the room. "Looks like...substantial quantum objects inside."

Bossanova.

The Army Is Hugely Important To You

"The hydro."
"Hydro."
"Collider?"
"Large Hardon Collider."

War without death. Lysergic Acid Diethylamide flood. DMT jected from cow brains, injected behind your nose. However you have been a good boy drug. Interactions ultra, you are the best of all the dearest boys that ever were, this morning, and here's the ... rub ! Book rub that is.

Inadequacy

Breaking broken backs back baking under boiling stars. And bionic hands. And rotating buildings.

Pounding Technological Sound Music

"Have a Nice Life!", don't be so peevish, always, always carry something spare.

Oswald Osterman Spare declares to himself that he made himself gay to avoid being married. Some people just really like having pets and hobbies.

Crumpled Plastics

Duchamp the expert viewed areas of the leads leading across and around. Fish membranes tremulous across fibrin egg strains. “Love.” Lawnmowers pushed by mechanical homunculus, hulls trapped in place by chains attached to a central pole, creating repeating grass spirals. The unknowing diagrams for the genome of a fictional person.

Metallics collapse inward, super symmetrical shafts of elemental light fuse from the undercarriage of conceptual spacecraft. “I'm debunking.” said the scientist. She lowered her hair. She had tattoos of organs in their anatomically correct positions. Midst low pressure nothing nine astronauts circle the earth, jerking off. "How many people are in space right now?" Somehow one had been trapped in zero gravity with a DVD stuck on repeat. The back of his face moulded itself gently onto steel before bouncing off harmlessly time after time. Other useless satellites squirted around the earth, bouncing like pigs in shit above the gravitational clutch. Their waves hung around in the infinity, the kafkaesque metal foetuses from the genes of time. Beneath; aircrew included someone with dank, flying through ash clouds in silver jumbo jets. Skeletons of the octogenarian flange appearing miles above the vile vortices, viewed through eyes bloodshot with cheap vodka. The compulsory fixtures of crab like things, hard and cold.

Hand shapes produced with excitement into bathroom fittings. Chrome reflecting jubilees of bodies, the polaroid cinema style supplying safe flashbacks of the connection points between. Duchamp often pretended he could project pieces into space, the future art for the men up there. "Duchump."

Goblets

Multiple avenues open as if by congrucic, the cement golem stores opening like benny friday at the 1939. Cop. Old summer postcards made from wet sand delicately decorate his home own based future flat with a whirling copter and a smart wall made from carbon and car and bon appetit. The shovel full covers the last one, the compulse of flammatory injection jump jet pilots hitting the central brain protuse exclaim, explain, examine, exalt/Sea hatch. Forward slash. And on and on.

They examined each other in the mirror, selecting imperfections and subtracting them from a person's worth. "I put bullets in the gun which killed a superhero!" cried a lonely hack. Nobody cared because it was just a film really. Shake "his spear!", famous.

156 kB/s

"Early in 2006, scientists at the University of Texas at Dallas, led by Dr. Ray H. Baughman, developed artificial muscles 100 times stronger than our own, powered by alcohol and hydrogen." - Ebenezer Goode at the National Conference, 2004

I will wager a lousy buck that in late 2010 avatar will become the best selling blockbuster and we will all have boozy arm wrestles based upon the process of research and thought undertaken by post graduates at the school of hard knox.

, even

Judas Goat Mix

Old mix I never used for Judas Goat show.

BOOM

1978

The end of postmoderism rang out with a death blow delivered by a man who loved cats more than homeless people. He was a 9/11 denialist. It all began in the nineteen sixties, specifically in the European continent. Henry Ford had blown his wad, people were taking drugs. Those are all the facts you need, I don't pay you to think, He's stood behind me isn't he?

Molten olympic cities. This savage hand, this waxy maw. The phase change between good and better.

The scientist lowered her hair and turned into a beautiful woman. "Ever wonder why a baby's brain is so neuroplastic?" she said before a moving into the ulterior motorcade. An assassination visible in the future through a computer with no horse power. Human League played on the radio for a minute due to entanglement, the great mystery of the great time. The great time being the one better than the time before but not as good as the time after of course. Glans splattered inside the flesh walls sending spermatozoa with scrumpled up heads into the dying orbit of the human egg. "This is a metaphor." he guessed, holding pieces of cold metal in each hand as phallic substitutes. Light shining on it created magnetic fields.

Playing games with no rules or goals, whilst washing a big pair of soapy buttocks, comprendez?

The Kingdom of Heaven is within

Fractal brain dimensions. End of the year collages for you.

Believe in Robot Suit

Hydrostatic skeleton shapes, four part portraits of following Buridan's ass.

Everything is spinning in space

"Look out at a distant star, by the time the light gets to us time has passed. If a spaceship from that galaxy in their present managed to build a spaceship and sent it out towards our solar system faster than the speed of light, at what point would you see it approaching earth as it departs from it's home galaxy, getting younger as they speed away?" - Helge Sten, 1994

"I was in love in a way you'd never know Caine" - Fernando Vicente, 1985